Sometimes I wonder..

Sometimes I wonder...
Am I really not beautiful enough to be liked by you? Is it my nose? My skin color? Or the way I wear my clothes? Or the way I just let my hair down? Do you really not like any of that?

Sometimes I wonder...
Why can't you see me from the good side? Why can't you just like me? Do you want me to change? Do want me to be better?

Because if that's the case..

I can't.
I can't change who I am. Because this will always be me. This is what I am. And this is what I will always be. I can change my wardrobe though, if you like. But as to my inner self, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry because I've struggled before to be what I am now. I've worked hard for it. I've been through a lot to be what I am today. I can't just change that over night.

I'm sorry if I can't change the way how I pity the street people. I'm sorry if I can't help but give them money or even my own food. I'm sorry if I have a soft spot for them. I'm sorry if I like dogs very much. I'm sorry if I talk to the animals in the streets and give them food. I'm sorry if I'm such a girl sometimes. I'm sorry that I'm afraid of spiders. I'm sorry if I get depressed easily. I'm sorry if I get too affected by little things. I'm sorry for being so emotional most of the time. I'm sorry for putting my full heart into things I have no certain. I'm sorry for always being there. I'm sorry if I irritate you so much. I'm sorry for trying to impress you.

I'm sorry for being me.
I'm sorry for loving you too much.







x

I'M FAT

I'm a girl and I weigh 59 kilos. It's pretty heavy, I know that already. People around me has always been telling me to lose weight. They've also made it clear that I'M FAT.. everyday and in every possible way.

The thing that I'm mad about is by how they talk and act around me. I'm still a person even though I'm fat, you know. I just hate it when people immediately judges a person based on what they see. I mean, I can't deny that the outside will always be the first basis because it's the first thing that is accessible to a human being, but I just can't understand why do most of the people stop there? There's more that meets the eye. Not all thin or fit people have very pleasant personalities. Why is it very hard to think that not all fat people are ugly on the inside as they are on the outside? (People around me always say that fat people are ugly.)

I don't understand the world I am in right now. People hurt people. Didn't God say that we are all brothers and sisters? And that we should always love one another? Why can't we just be nice to every one? In this way, we'll have a better world. A world where everyone is accepted. A world where everyone is being the way they are & not being judged by it. Wouldn't that feel nice? To be in a world there will be lower rates of cases of suicide? Where everyone is having a good time because they don't have to hide anymore? Being able to express and do the things that our heart's have always desired should be the first step on being happy. But sadly, everyone is denying this freedom to everyone. 

James 4:12 

There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor? 

Ephesians 4:29

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, what it may give grace to those who hear. 

All the love,

Hazel Grace